One Phrase to Redefine You in 2018

There are many things to organize other than the things in our houses. 

If you take a look around some of these posts, you may notice that organizing my LIFE is equally important to me as organizing my kitchen cabinets is. 

I am CONSTANTLY searching for balance. Balance between work and relaxing, balance between staying in and going out, balance between personal needs and the needs of others. 

And while time management and health are things that we're probably all thinking about anyway. What about organizing our thoughts? Feelings? Attitudes? Honestly, this is one of those areas where people usually say "I just am who I am and I can't change it"! That saying drives me crazy! 

Of course, there are some built-in personality traits... But for the most part, You are whoever you decide to be and you CAN change it. I am a firm believer in mind over matter. I believe that we can do, think, feel, act, and react however we choose. 

I believe this for (at least) three reasons:

Reason #1: When I was in elementary/middle school, I used to be insanely shy. Like, so shy that I would start crying if the teacher asked me a question in Sunday School. In front of a small group of girls. That I saw every week. And I am talking panic attack level, here. 

Today: I can still be quiet(ish) but I have no problem talking to people. I don't even mind public speaking... in fact, I even enjoy it!

Why? Because I simply decided to be something else. 

Reason #2: When I was in high school, I was the worst. student. ever. Do you hear me? EVER. I was always failing at least one class (usually math), I would copy someone else's homework 24 seconds before we had to turn it in, and I NEVER knew when we had tests. Tests!

I studied (read) for a test once and it turned out to be the wrong chapter. My teacher and classmates thought it was hilarious. Being a bad student kind of became my identity in high school, so I just went with it. Worst if all? I didn't even have a planner! (Oh, the horror!)

Today: I have multiple (color-coded) planners. I NEVER miss a deadline. In fact, I remind others about deadlines. I mades straight A's in college, and I finished grad school with a 4.0 GPA. I even made an A in a math class for the first time ever! 

So what changed? How did I go from being the girl that was never prepared to the girl who was overly prepared? 

I simply decided to be something else. 

Reason #3: Senior year, I took a Mock Trial class and decided that I LOVED law! I loved the research. I loved reading through scenarios and pulling out the rule of law that applied. I loved Elle Woods (obviously)! I declared my major Legal Studies during my first semester of college and never looked back.

But guess what? When I started to actually work for attorneys, I HATED it. I hated being inside all day. I hated the nonstop calls. I hated it that I didn't actually get to interact with people... everything was mostly over the phone. And I hated sitting at a desk all day. 

Today: I am in my seventh year of teaching Kindergarten, and I couldn't be happier! I still get to do research but I also get to run around, use silly voices, give hugs, draw, go outside, and do a million different things with my students. I love everything about my job!

I'm SO GLAD I simply decided to DO SOMETHING ELSE! 

So, if you have an area of your life that you're currently unhappy with, I think you know what to do! One of my favorite quotes is "never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway."! 



What area of your life would like to commit to changing in this new year? 

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How to Create Long Term Goals

If you've been reading this blog for a few months, you know that when my life slows down, my writing slows down, too. Summer break and winter break are the hardest times for me to write... because I'm not busy enough, if that makes any sense. Around the beginning of the new year, I decided to dedicate the first 6 weeks of 2015 focusing on my career (aka finding a new teaching job in a new city). And I planned on writing about cover letters and resumes and what to wear to interviews, etc. I did a ton of research. I pinned a bunch of articles (you can find them all here).

I read them all. I took notes. And then I realized "there's no need for me to say any of this. I'd just be repeating everything that's already been said in these articles". So, I didn't write a post about the perfect interview or resume or whatever. HOWEVER, I did spend quite a lot of time doing something that wasn't in ANY of these posts! So, that's what I'm going to write about today:

TAKE SOME TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHERE YOU WANT YOUR CAREER TO GO.

I recently started this new "track" on Happify called Find Your Calling and the very first exercise in it was one where you write about your perfect daily routine. NOT your perfect job. But your perfect routine. Like, what do you see your days looking like in the future? The craziest thing about this activity was that it was SO easy! Even though you may not be completely sure about what you WANT to do... you probably have a pretty good idea of what you want your days to look like. Doing this activity motivated me to keep going on my quest of finding my perfect career!



1. Spend 20 minutes writing your 20-year goals

This past weekend, I set a timer for 20 minutes and wrote down what I want my career to look like 20 years from now. I just typed it into a Word documents. I wrote it quickly and messy. I didn't care about grammar or punctuation or even if I sounded like a normal person. So, if you're feeling stressed out and overwhelmed about the future, just take 20 minutes and write down anything and everything that you can. Once I finished writing what I wanted to be doing 20 years from now, I reset the timer for 10 minutes and wrote about what I want to be doing in 10 years. Go big here, btw!

"Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe." -Oprah Winfrey



2. Cut that time in half and do it again... and again... and again...

Because I am slightly more obsessive than most people, I continued this at every halfway mark (including 15 months and 7 1/2 months). You could just go with something traditional like "1 year" and "6 months". Another thing I did that was helpful was to begin every new time period by writing "In ___ years, it will be the year ___ and I will be ___ years old". Another thing I did that was super helpful was to find someone I admired who was already that age. Sometimes age seems pretty vague and it's difficult to know what to expect, so seeing it in someone else's life makes it easier.



3. Read through and pull out your concrete goals

Once I had all of my things written in a Word document, I went back and pulled out the phrases and keywords that I could actually turn into goals. For example, "involve parents in classroom activities through class website, newsletter, and volunteer opportunities". Those are all pretty concrete things that I can really make happen in my classroom. Or "certified professional organizer", well... that's pretty clear. I pulled out the things that were super specific like that and actually wrote them down on a piece of paper. I continued to do this at every checkpoint until I eventually got down to "today".



4. Do 4 things today that will move you towards your goals

At the "today" space, I just made a square space big enough for a Post-It. Each day, I write down 4 tasks that will help me reach the goals. NOT big tasks at all, either! Sending 1 e-mail to someone or printing off 1 document counts. Literally, 4 small and doable tasks every day. It doesn't feel or sounds like much which is why below it I wrote this quote:

"Great things are done by a series of small things coming together." -Vincent Van Gogh

The future is a scary and magnificent thing! It's easy to let it come and go and dream about the things that we could have done OR we can decide today to attack it head on and spend each day purposefully making it the best we can! Which brings me to another quote I love:

"Put on lipstick and attack!" -Coco Chanel 

How to Actually Accomplish Your 2015 Goals

HAPPY 2015, everyone! I am so super excited about this year. I don't know what it is but for some reason, I just love odd-numbered years (weeeirdo). So, of course, I pretty much live for the beginning of January. It's the time of year when everyone gets really into setting new goals and organizing everything! The stores are absolutely FILLED with organizational bins and containers (and I break out into my Happy Feet dance whenever I reach the "seasonal" section of Target)!

This is also the time when EVERYONE is interested in setting goals and doing things better in the new year! Last January, I wrote a 31-day series (yes, I actually finished that one) about goal setting. I found a ton of great resources (they're listed at the bottom of each post). Today I'm just going to do an abridged, skimming-over version of that series. using some of America's most common resolutions.



According to us.gov, these are some of the most common New Year's resolutions that we make year after year:



Common Resolution: Lose Weight
Turn it into something like this: I will lose 10 pounds by December 2014 by working out 30 minutes each day and doubling the amount of vegetables that I eat each day. 

(by the way, if this really IS your goal, check out: Tone It Up)



Common Resolution: Volunteer
Turn it into something like this: I will volunteer 72 hours by December by spending 6 hours a month working in the kitchen at the Mission. 

(by the way, if this really IS your goal, check out: Volunteer Match)



Common Resolution: Better Education/Grades
Turn it into something like this: I will submit my grad school application by January 15 by working on it for 4 hours next weekend. 

(by the way, if this really IS your goal, check out this list of resources for college students... aaand while you're at it, you can just head over to the Organized Studying page!)



Common Resolution: Get a Better Job
Turn it into something like this: I will have a job (doing whatever you want to do) by August 1 by submitting a new resume packet to a different company every 2 weeks. 

(by the way, if this really IS your goal, check out: The Daily Muse)



Common Resolution: Save Money/Manage Debt
Turn it into something like this: I will save $1800 by December by putting $150 into my savings account every month. 

(by the way, if this really IS your goal, check out: Mint)



Common Resolution: Manage Stress
Turn it into something like this: I will become more relaxed and mindful by December by writing down 10 things I'm thankful for every morning, taking a 30-minute walk outside every day after work, and staying off screens (phone, iPad, computer, TV) between 10PM-6AM. 

(by the way, if this really IS your goal, check out: Happify and Zen Habits)



Common Resolution: Take a Trip
Turn it into something like this: I will take a trip to the Dominican Republic in May by putting $500 into a "vacation fund" every month. 

(by the way, if this IS your goal, check out this list of helpful travel-planning sites)



Common Resolution: Reduce Clutter/Get Organized
Turn it into something like this: I will reduce the amount of items in each closet by 30% by December by going through 1 closet each Saturday and removing 1 of every 3 items every month. 

(by the way, if this IS your goal, check out: Project Organize Your Entire Life and Unclutterer)



See how goals just sound more achievable when we make them super specific? Like, it's no longer this broad ambiguous thing that you hope happens to you this year. Instead, it's something that you're taking control of and working for! When resolutions are super vague, they might as well be wishes. Accomplishing new goals takes a lot of planning (YAY!), discipline, sacrifice, effort, and doing a lot of things that look really boring when they're written on a daily to-do list (read chapter 5, for example).

Just keep your big goal in mind while you're working through those tedious to-do lists. And be prepared to work hard and to sacrifice things that would be fun right now and probably to be broke (if you're saving up for a vacation or paying grad school tuition). So, here is my last little bit of advice before you begin your fresh, new year! Choose to focus on 1 goal at a time and reeeally work to make it a habit before throwing another goal into the mix.

Once you're working out daily, or you're in the habit of cooking a healthy dinner every night, then you can start on the resume sending-out, you know? Don't try to start all of your goals at once or you'll just set yourself up for the F word (which is "Failure", obviously).

So, good luck and remember that it's 2015 and everything is awesome! :)



What are your goals for 2015? Did you accomplish the ones that you set for yourself last year? Also, can you think of any resources that I should add for the topics above? I know there have got to be a ton of great apps/websites that I don't know about! 

7 Tips for a Productive Finals Week

If there is one things I’ve noticed “trending” on all of my social media news feeds, it’s stress. Or a lack of productivity. Or procrastination. Or sleep deprivation. Or despair. If only I could combine all of those into one word… Oh, wait; I can: Finals.

Let me tell you how so many of my Finals weeks went during undergrad: I would set out all of my schoolwork and then procrastinate well into the night. Maybe I was sitting at my desk, but I was scrolling through Facebook or articles or I would suddenly decide that I needed to rearrange my office supply drawer. THEN around 11 PM, I would realize that I actually had no choice but to do my work. By then, my energy and focus were long gone and I was feeling resentful towards my work.

I would stay up way too late until I finally fell asleep surrounded by my books/notes/etc. I would wake up around 2AM with all of my lights on, read another paragraph or go over vocal words again and then fall back to sleep. THEN I would wake up around 6 and complete the entire paper/study for the test on the morning that it was due. What?! Who does that?! Oh, and then there was the crying. You can’t forget the crying during finals week. It’s an important part.

Finals in both semesters are challenging, but there is just something about the end of the fall semester that adds this extra layer of anxiety. Christmas, maybe? Or the cold weather? Or the shorter days? Or even, all of the football games. So, I thought this would be the perfect time to set out some helpful productivity tips! And most of all, just remember that you’re almost there!



1: Plan Each Day on the Night Before
I can tell you right now that I can tell a HUGE difference between days where I wake up with a plan and days when I try to make my plan in the morning. Like, it’s the difference between me getting 1 thing done and getting 39 things done. Really.

I love this whole article from Underground Success but my favorite tip is “set out your super 6 the night before”. So, tonight, look at your crazy finals week schedule and choose your 6 biggest things that need to be accomplished tomorrow! Write tomorrow’s to-do list tonight!



2: Set Aside Sleeping Hours (and Stick to Them!)
So, as time has gone on (and I’ve gotten older… shhh.) I have learned that there really is something to be said for good sleeping patterns. This is going to make me sound like the oldest person in America but I literally go to sleep every single night at 10pm. I know, right? 

We also wake up at our house at 5:30 every morning (and by "wake up", I mean lay in bed and listen to the alarm). One can’t happen without the other. So, I told you that to tell you this: Set aside a specific time to go to sleep and follow that every night but especially during finals week! You need sleep! Your brain will be more focused, your memory will be better, and you will feel less stressed if you get enough sleep! As tempting as it is to skip sleeping during this time of year, don’t do it !



3: Hit the Ground Running
When you wake up, start working right away! Make the bed and have breakfast! Take a (quick) shower and get dressed! Then start on that to-do list that you made last night! Start working before you even have time to get distracted by anything or before you can even think about how much you don’t want to do!

Set a deadline for yourself and work like crazy to meet it! I always, always choose to work high-priority (things that are either due the soonest or worth the most points) to low priority. Life will happen, so keep in mind that you may not make it to that 6th thing!



4: Always Know What Your Next Step Is
I recently read this article on productivity and it said to make sure you finish every conversation (e-mail, text) by knowing what the next step is. For example, if you’re trying to make plans with someone, rather than just saying “let’s get together” say “let’s get together on Saturday”. Things are more likely to actually HAPPEN that way!

Well, I loved that advice so much, that I’ve started thinking of everything like that! So, when you shut down your computer after spending time working on a huge paper, stick a Post-It on it with where you need to begin next time!

For example, “3 more citations, 2 more examples, 2 more concluding paragraphs”.

That sounds more manageable and less vague than “finish paper," right?



5: Block Out Social Media
I know I literally talk about this all fit time, but I just always, always read all these articles about how social media has a negative impact on productivity! I mean, really… you don’t even need me to say that because we all experience it every day! For finals week, try these tips:

—> Hide your social media apps on the second screen on your phone
—> Set aside a 20-mintute time limit for social media
—> Turn off your alerts/push notifications

Just use these tips until you’ve turned that final assignment... But who knows, you may feel so much less-stressed that you keep them that way!



6: Remember your “Big Picture”
So, it may be totally true that making a passing good grade on your Landforms final seems completely pointless when you’re studying English. Believe me, as a Legal Studies major I was always like, when am I ever going to need to know about the layers of dirt? And I was right. No one in my adult life has ever asked me about where the Humus layer is.

BUT think of it as a tiny little stair step that is leading you to your dream career! We must be required to take some of these silly classes for some reason. Just think of all of the people who have done this before you! And listen, if I can do well in pass classes like Finite Mathematics and Political Statistics, then you can, too!



7: Keep a "Distraction Notebook”
Oh, hi. I just gave you a justification for heading down the notebook aisle at Target (at least, that’s how I would read that). But it’s really completely true! Nearly every time that I have some huge project due for someone else, I all of a sudden have a brilliant idea for something that I want to do! Um… that’s how this blog was even created in the first place (I was avoiding do an Educational Research project).

And guess what? You don’t want to forget those ideas because they may turn out to be amazing! Grab a cute little notebook and every time that you feel distracted by some big, great idea, write it down! When Finals are over, you can open it up and use your break to work on those amazing and creative projects you came up with!



If all else fails, just spend your 20 minutes of social media time scrolling through #finalsweek on Twitter.

I promise, it will make you laugh :)

What are you doing to get ready for Finals week? Are you super stressed or do you feel like you’ve got it under control? Any tips that we could all use to get more done?! 

Inspiration Board Cheat Sheet

Inspiration Boards are one of my favorite things to check out on Pinterest! They are just one of those things that you don’t really notice… until you do. I’m always like “ooh, I love this workspace!” and then when I go back through my “Office.” board, I notice that they all have this one thing in common: inspiration/motivation/vision boards. Does this sound like something that Chris from Parks & Rec would do? Yes. But also, they can be the perfect reflection of your personality and your future goals! 

Not only that… remember the Feng Shui post from a couple of days ago? The ideal position for your desk is somewhere where it faces the door but, if that just isn’t possible (like in a small apartment, bedroom, or dorm), the next best thing is to make the wall “disappear”. Inspiration Boards are the perfect way to do that! They can be a source of inspiration, motivation, encouragement, pride in past accomplishments, and just something that is nice to look at after hours of reading or writing or crying because math is hard. 

There are literally TONS (okay, fine… there are figuratively tons) of examples out there! But what makes the perfect “recipe” for an inspiration board? Here is my oh-so-humble opinion:

Here’s a perfect one from Lauren Conrad (of course)!

Choose a color scheme

Your space should reflect you! Some workspaces are really dreamy looking with whites and subdued colors. You’ll want that to carry over into your inspiration board. Others are full of bold colors, or maybe bright pinks and turquoises! Whatever your design-style is, make sure that your board goes along with it and isn't distracting or out of place. Also, add a little depth with tickets, ribbons, cards, etc! 

Can we please talk about the absolute genius-ness of this clipboard inspiration board from Trendenser?! 

Gather things that make you happy

This is pretty simple. Think of things that make you smile when you see them! Do you love the color pink? Penguins? Pretty dresses? Traveling? When you find or take photos of things that you just absolutely love, stick these up here! They will provide a safe haven for your mind when you’re feeling all depleted from reading a textbook that is likely droning on about something that bores you. 

This one from Megan at Honey, We’re Home is super girly and stylish. LOVE!

Give yourself something to look forward to

There is also the “vision board” part of inspiration boards. The part that reminds you why you do whatever it is that you do! Where do you want to be 10 years from now? What field of work do you hope to be in? Where do you want to travel? Choose photos or quotes or headlines or pictures of people who inspire you! And don’t forget to include your long and short term goals! Create a “big picture”! 

I love how this one found on Flickr. just blends in with the rest of the space!

Include Your past accomplishments

Have you won a blue ribbon for something? Or maybe received a certificate for some type of special recognition? What about photos from graduation, or your acceptance letter or test scores? Put these up here! A big part of staying motivated is to remind yourself of your past achievements! When things get hard, just look back and think, “This was challenging, but I did it. If I could do it then, I can do it now.”

Here’s another clever alternative to a “board” from Warm Home Decors!

Throw in some personal photos

Did you know that you can print out Instagram photos? Of course you did because I am the last person on Earth to find this out. I like Instas better than regular photos! Why? Because they really force you to choose one thing to represent an entire event and to focus on finding the beauty in everyday life. Print out a few of your favorites! Remind yourself that, even though your life is crazy, it is also beautiful!  

Inspiration boards are a great idea for a study space because they can just keep you motivated and on the right track by reminding you of what you’ve already done, what you’re doing now, and what you will do in the future! 

They can help you turn your dreams into goals, your goals into plans, and your plans into real life! :) 

Do you have a bulletin board or “inspiration board” in your study space? What kinds of things are on it? Has it helped you stay motivated when your schoolwork gets frustrating? 

How To Set & Follow Study Goals

I am a big fan of setting goals. So much that I wrote an entire series on it in January because, for me, goals replace resolutions. Resolutions are broad, abstract statements such as “be a better wife” or “eat healthier”. Goals, on the other hand, are planned out, step-by-step procedures and habits that lead you down the path to where you want to be! Sometimes it’s easy to get off track, lose motivation, or forget why we do what we do. Sometimes it’s easy to feel burnt out, even about things that we love doing!

Right now, I have the biggest case of Senioritis ever: I am all set to graduate grad school in December, I’ve maintained a 4.0 GPA, I’ve passed every certification exam with flying colors (except that pesky math part… literally passed that by 1 point... aka “victory!” in Kirsten World). And guess what? At this point, I am just downright tired of school. It’s been my top priority for SO long. And this semester, I am just over it. Ready to be done. Ready to move on and focus on other things that have slowly moved to the top of my priority list. 

So, what’s the problem with that? The problem is that I’m not out of the woods yet! I still have a huge research project to conduct, analyze, and present to the ominous “evaluators”. So even though I am so, so ready to be done… I’m just not yet! 

This is where the goal setting comes in! Did you know that our motivation for completing long-term goals is like a giant U? Yep. Think about each semester. We start out super motivated with our new schedules and our new school supplies and we are super excited to have an awesome semester! However, somewhere around Midterms, we begin to lose motivation. We get tired. And we realize that, even though we’ve come so far, we’re still only halfway there. And that can be a little discouraging.

So let’s do this: Take 5 minutes to make a list of all of the things that you’ve already accomplished! If you’re in your first semester, go ahead and write down how many tests you’ve already completed! If you’re a year or two into your college career, write down all of the classes that you’ve completed and what else you’ve accomplished! In grad school like me? Same thing. ALL. THOSE. CLASSES. You’re almost done! Don’t forget to add all the awesome things you do like work, friends, sports, etc!

Next, make a list of your goals for the upcoming months! You’ve already accomplished all of those things and, at one time, they were goals, too! Don’t let yourself get discouraged or feel overwhelmed! You’ve done awesome things before and you will do awesome things this time, too! 

Once the semester moves on, and we realize that Finals are coming up, we kick it back into high gear and work our tails off to make awesome grades on our final exams/projects! It’s just that middle part that’s challenging; the bottom of the U. The part of the year where we aren’t feeling the urgency of Finals and we’re just kind of drifting throughout the school year. That’s where habits and routines really come into play! We’ve all heard that it takes between 21-28 days to form a new habit. So let’s try that!

Commit today to taking baby steps for the next 3-4 weeks (the rest of October) to doing a little each day to move yourself towards your studying goals. They don’t have to be huge steps, just a little each day to get you where you would like to be by November 1. Think of a way to celebrate yourself when you do reach that goal. Maybe splurge on a new bag or plan a big girls’ night! Whatever motivates you!

How do you keep yourself motivated to follow through with your goals?! What study goals do you have for this semester? Or for this year?! 

The Perfect Amount of Time to Study

What do you visualize when you hear the word “study”? 

If you’re like most people, it's something like this:

{via}

When we think about “studying," we typically think about spending hours and hours each night pouring over a 39-pound textbook. Bonus points if you make it past midnight! Double bonus points if you fall asleep beneath, beside, or on top of that textbook! In undergrad, I did this ALL the time and I would be totally surprised when I just made an OK grade on a test... “But I studied for hours!” That’s because (luckily), it’s not necessary to study for hours! 

Do you want to know what the absolutely, most effective amount of time to spend studying is? 20-50 minutes. (Yes. MINUTES). Why? Because our brains need some time to digest everything that they’ve just read. Think about it like a workout… you wouldn’t workout for 4 hours straight without any water breaks, would you? Absolutely not! It that would be totally dangerous and ineffective! Yet that’s what we expect our brains to be able to do all the time! 

So, if you’re already getting burnt out on studying for the upcoming midterms (can you believe it’s already that far into the semester?!), try this process:

Divide your big project into 3 smaller tasks

If I write something like “finish research project” or “write research paper” on my to-do list, that’s gonna get done never. I am literally never going to wake up one morning, open up my computer with a huge smile and say “Well, today’s the perfect day! Time to get started on that 65-page paper!”. 

It’s gotta be done little by little, piece by piece. 

Instead, I write things like “Edit Action Plan (20 mins)”. I didn’t tell myself it had to be perfect. I didn’t even tell myself I had to finish it. I just told myself to work on it for 20 minutes. And 20 minutes is nothing, right?! That’s, like, 5 songs. That’s a lunch break. That’s a TV show. That’s DO-ABLE. 

Set a timer and just start

Then set a timer and just start. Whatever the thing is that’s stressing you out the most, start with that thing! What have you been procrastinating about the longest? Just set aside the next 20 minutes and focus completely on that one thing. It may be reading a textbook. It may be writing a paper (for me right now, it’s editing a paper and adding some more resources).

When the timer goes off, take a break

Not a huge break, but enough to take your mind off of your work for a few minutes. Try to something physical because it will help you study more effectively! Put on Beyonce and dance around for 5 minutes, roll out your yoga mat and do a couple of your favorite poses. Go outside! I tell the kids in my class to go across the room and do some jumping jacks or to hop up and down until they feel like they can focus again! Try anything that will get you moving around! 

Set your timer and start again

You are totally free to stop there. Write down what you got done during those 20 minutes and where you should pick up next time, then you’re totally free to walk away. BUT you may also have that feeling of “well, I could do just a little bit more” or “now that I have that much done, I might as well go ahead and finish that”. And that’s the best ever! That means that your break totally worked and that your mind feels refreshed and ready to do more! Just keep working in those 20-minute intervals! 

And that’s it! 20 minutes at a time, as many times as you can, everyday. 

No more falling asleep on those textbooks and hoping the information will jump into your brain! :) 

How long do you usually spend studying for something? Are you guilty of studying for “too long” (I was the worst)? Have you tried studying in smaller intervals? How do you spend your study breaks?

15 Pieces of Fatherly Advice… from My Dad

Father’s Day is sometimes an emotional day. While Mother’s Day is a day that most people have no problem celebrating, fathers can be a little more challenging. I know so many people who either lost their dads at a young age, had uninvolved fathers, or just had a really bad relationship with them. 

I know that I am so, so blessed to have had such a great dad. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we have certainly had some arguments. We can both be a little bossy/ OCD/ particular (which is why we need the “Kikis" of the world to balance us out) but there is honestly no one else that I would rather call my dad!

I have learned a TON of things from him over the years, but if I had to make a list (and I do), I would say that these are the 15 biggest lessons that have helped me in life! 

1: Adapt, overcome, and improvise. 

My dad’s dad was a Marine, which is what inspired this saying. And this is what I heard constantly throughout my childhood. It is SO important (especially for people like me) to understand that everything isn’t going to work out as planned. In those situations, you can freak out… or you can adapt your plan, overcome the problem, and improvise your actions! This is one of the most important things he’s taught me! 

2: All pain goes away.

Whenever I would get hurt as a little child, my dad would just say “it goes a-way” (in the voice that he uses when talking to small children and animals) over and over again. And you know what? Whether it was a skinned knee or a burned hand, the pain did always go away. In my adult life, the pain has consisted of things like hurt feelings or regret. But the same advice rings true… eventually, it goes a-way. 

3: Don’t take a step in life unless you’ve prayed about it first. 

This is one that I’m definitely learning more and more everyday. You can plan and plan. You can be the best planner in the world. But if your plans don’t line up with God’s plans, you can basically kiss them goodbye. Pray about it BEFORE you jump into something. 

4: It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

My husband disagrees with me that this is really “advice” so let me explain: What my dad means by this is to build relationships. The more people you know, the more opportunities you’ll have in life. 7 out of the 10 jobs I’ve had were because I knew someone who already worked for the company. Never shy away from social engagements because they might be “awkward”; just show up, be awesome, and make new friends! 

5: It’s ok to question authority. 

This doesn’t mean that you have to have a bad attitude or be super rebellious. However, it is always a good idea to know why certain laws, procedures, rules exist. Not only does this help you to learn something better but it also forces whoever is in charge to re-examine the way the they do things. Never be afraid to ask for the reasoning/validity of any rule! 

6: Know your roots.

This one is pretty important and is something that I wish we all did a little better. How far back can you trace your family? Maybe to your grandma’s mother? My dad has done an excellent job of tracing our family's history… including where everyone was born, what they did, and where they’re buried. The better you know your family’s past, the better your will understand your family’s present. 

7: Make friends wherever you go.

Half of "it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” is, of course, "who you know". My dad is the friendliest, most approachable person in the world. He knows everybody. He’ll talk to anyone at any party, he stops to chat with homeless people on the street, he can literally tell you everyone who graduated in his high school class. Plus, this world needs more friendly people! 

8: Respect history. 

Kind of along the same lines as knowing your family's history, learn a little more about the history of everything in your life. Your school, community, region. What makes your hometown unique? Everyone loves to hear a cool story and history is just full of them! 

9: Spend a lot of time doing what you love.

Even if you don’t get paid for it. In fact, there is a good chance that you won’t get paid for it. The thing that my dad loved was coaching. He worked all day, came home, changed, and headed straight back out to coach me or my brother on whatever team we were playing for. He still has his Coach of the Year plaques up on his office wall! 

10: Stay close to your family.

And not necessarily in a geographical-proximity-way, but in a communicative way. Your family members are the ones who will be with you through your whole, entire life. Make sure that you take care of your relationships with them!

11: Stay organized. 

Well, it’s certainly true that if it wasn’t for my dad, there would be no Organized Charm. From the day I was born, I’ve been watching him make lists, charts, and organize his cassette tapes. He has a system for literally everything. He is a chronic calendar user. All of which he passed along to me! 

12: Stories are better when you were there.

Another great thing I learned from my dad was to be present more often than not. Yes, studying is important but it’s not all that there is. Your friends and the memories that you make with them are more important than your GPA! After all, they aren’t going to put your college transcript up at your funeral. Make sure you’re a part of your friends’ stories, not just the one who hears about them! 

13: Take pride in everything you have.

My dad is one of the proudest people I know. And not in an arrogant or annoying way, but in a way that’s really admirable. He is so proud of his family, his home, all of his pets, the blueberries that he grew. Everything. Always take pride in what you do and have… others will notice! 

14: The customer is always right. 

Especially if you’re the customer. I cannot tell you how many times my dad has gotten those crazy fees taken off of our phone bills or gotten us refunds on “no refund” policies. If you go high enough up the chain of command of any company, you will accomplish what you need to. On the other side, remember to always treat your customers like old friends. After a career in sales, my dad still keeps in contact with several of his old clients! 

15: Travel. 

This is one thing that I got from both of my parents. Travel. Travel, travel, travel. You will never regret the time or money that went into gaining a new life experience! 

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO MY AWESOME DAD! :)

Those are some of the biggest life lessons I’ve learned from my daddy! What are some important things that you’ve learned from your dad/grandfather/mom/uncle/brother?